Saturday, September 02, 2006


I am going to launch a class-action suit against the manufacturer of the electric clippers I own. They were criminally negligent for not putting a warning label on their product that reads "Do not operate while under the influence of alcohol or when you are particularly annoyed with your hair."

Well, I've been annoyed with my hair all week, and on thursday night one glass of wine too many led to the thought that it was a GOOD idea to self-administer a haircut, with the following result:

I look at that picture and feel as though I should be holding an M-16 or something. Just call me jarhead.

This is the shortest my hair has ever been. I didn't mean for it to get THAT short, but I wasn't paying attention to the fact that the length setting on my clippers, which is adjustable, was sliding down under the pressure I was applying to my head. And at that point, there was nothing else for it but to make the whole thing even.

On the bright side, I now know that I have a reasonably nicely-shaped head, and should I ever actually lose my hair it won't be too tragic.


Swain said...

As a man who (as a result of shoddy genetics and years of hat abuse) regularly shaves what little hair I have left on my head, let me offer some advice.

Learn to love it. There are actually some excellent aspects to the shaved head.

You'll save time in the shower in the morning.

Hathead is a thing of the past, making it easier to wear toques come winter.

Prison Break, and the sex appeal of Lincoln and Michael have made shaved heads the new pink.

The shaved head is a very liberating experience. Once you let go of the social attachment to hair, you may find yourself loving this new style.

Lesley said...

Actually, it doesn't look that bad. And hey, it will always grow back right?

Oh and never, EVER, cut your hair drunk. Haven't you seen Sixteen Candles???

Jer said...

When I cut mine that short (and it's usually nearly that short these days)it looks from a couple of yards away as if I have NO hair on top at all. Come to think of it, the same happens if I stand under a bright bulb, whether my hair is shorn or not. Suddenly people are blinking, rubbing their eyes and moving away.

Even at that length AND under a desk lamp, the glossy presence of hair is quite evident in this picture - so there's really no justification for the melancholy expression on your face (which brings to mind a poodle coming out of the grooming salon, or perhaps a freshly-sheared sheep shivering on a hillside).

I think it's a good look on you, actually.

Anonymous said...

Around this time two years ago, I did exactly the same thing, and then thought, why did I wait so long? Let it grow out a little and find a nice short length that suits you. No more haircuts!


Anonymous said...

The new buzz makes you look less intimidating and gives you a softening effect.

FanglyFish said...


Paige said...

I'm a big fan of drunken hair cuts, and I also think in that picture you look exactly like the older Schofield brother from Prison Break. (Don't worry, that's a good thing!)

Paige said...

annnnnd... I just saw Steve Swain beat me to the Lincoln reference... sigh. (this, then, is a warning against intoxicated blog commenting.)

Iceman said...

You know the difference between a good hair cut and a bad one? Two weeks!

Anonymous said...

Wow - we've never looked so much alike before. See you in Tigerland! SM.

Mark P said...

You damn people with hair that still choose to shave your heads! Don't throw your folicles away!

Femme d'ailleurs said...

I hope your students won't think you just came back from prison! Just kidding! A.