While having conceded the absence of WMD in Iraq, the US Army today uncovered a massive bunker completely filled with the rotting remains of several tons of cut flowers. Intelligence experts speculate that these must be the flowers the Iraqi people were planning to throw at the feet of American soldiers.
One intelligence official, speaking on condition of anonymity, stated "It is well known that the cut-flower industry in Iraq was completely under the thumb of Saddam Hussein. We now believe he confiscated all the flowers in Iraq to prevent them being thrown at the feet of victorious American soldiers. It's odd we didn't consider this possibility before, really."
With no flowers at hand, the official speculated, the only other welcome gifts they had access to were the weapons and explosives in the various ammo dumps scattered around the countryside.
Haliburton, in an effort to rectify the situation, has bought a controlling interest in FTD Florists.
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