Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Cage Match: Lestat vs. Damon Salvatore

Well, Angel won that fight pretty handily by a margin of 22-5. And now to decide whom he will face in the quarterfinals, a showdown between the vampire Lestat of Interview With The Vampire, and Damon Salvatore of the new hit television series The Vampire Diaries.

Lestat won the coin toss, so today's fight will take place in a majestic but mouldering old manor house in the Louisiana bayou.

HOW I THINK THE FIGHT WILL GO:

Lestat awaits his opponent in the house's old parlour, a room that still carries the grandeur of years now long past in spite of its damp and its mouldering old furniture. In the flickering candlelight, the water stains on the walls shiver and dance. Lestat sips thoughtfully from his wineglass, eyes narrowed as the dark form of Damon Salvatore sidles into the doorway.

"Please, come in," Lestat gestures to the overstuffed armchair across from him. A second wine glass sits on the small table between them. "Have a drink."

Damon doesn't move at first, his eyes taking in the details of the room around him. "Nice house," he says.

Lestat laughs. "Yes, I have a girl come in once a century to tidy up."

Damon enters finally, and sits. "Ah. Vampire humour."

"Won't you drink?"

He looks at the glass suspiciously. "Wine?"

Lestat frowns, swirling the viscous red around his glass. "Of course not." He gestures to a dark, moaning heap in the room's corner. "A gift from a willing and generous donor." He sips.

Damon snatches the glass out of Lestat's hand. "I think I will drink. From your glass. No offense, but we are meant to fight to the death here."

Lestat shrugs, and picks the other glass off the small table. "No offense taken. I just thought it might be nice to have a chat before getting down to business. We might find we have more in common than we think."

Damon eyes him shrewdly. "What are you suggesting?"

"It has been some time since I have met a vampire of a similar mind to me. I've heard about you ... and about your brother."

Damon snorts. "Don't talk about that idiot to me."

"A tortured, brooding, self-hating vampire who refuses to drink human blood."

"That's Stefan. Your point?"

Lestat leans forward. "Sounds an awful lot like an old friend of mine. My point is that there are a distressing number of these pathetic weaklings clinging to their 'humanity,' and here we are being asked to kill one another when we are the ones who should be leading."

Damon leans forward as well, his face close to Lestat's. "I'm listening."

"Why go along with this inane idea?" Lestat whispers, his eyes sliding over the contours of Damon's face. "Why not be the ones left standing when all these others have destroyed themselves?"

Damon places his mouth next to Lestat's ear and breathes, "I like the way you think."

Lestat gives a start, and leans back in his seat, looking down at the wooden stake protruding from his chest. "Hmm. Nicely played. One problem, though ..." he jerks the stake out. "My kind of vampire can't be killed by staking. You really should do your research."

All at once, Lestat and Damon are on their feet, facing each other down. "It might have been nice to have a partner again," sighed Lestat.

Damon shrugs. "It would never last. As you say, we're too similar."

"Right. Shall we do this?"

Projected Winner: TOO CLOSE TO CALL

5 comments:

Alice said...

Ok, Chris....of your matches so far, this one has to be the most physically appealing, at least to a feminine audience.

Lol said...

Hmmm, this one is tricky. Damon fights dirty, but Lestat is older by about 100 years, and therefore stronger. I'm going to go with Damon. His desire to find Katherine keeps him going.

Dallas said...

Ha! This is hilarious!!! My money's still on Lestat.

Belle18 said...

Obviously Lestat would win. Damon would be a pile of ashes, and would never know what hit him.

symbiot said...

Yeah but if you go by the book to Lestat is as strong as 10 vampires because he has the blood of a really old vampire that so Lestat would crush him like a grape, he fought with Armand who is 600 years old and beat the crap out of him so lestat would win