There are Bad Times Just Around the Corner

Watching the news these days is a daunting prospect, so dire are the forecasts on practically every single front.

If we as a species have any one great redeeming feature, I think it’s a sense of humour, and an ability to laugh in the face of disaster … or at the very least, to poke fun at doomsaying. To do it musically is even more of an accomplishment.

A number of years ago, I found in a sale bin of CDs an album titled Twentieth Century Blues, a collection of Noel Coward songs covered by contemporary musicians. This is a brilliant collection, not least for Sting doing “I’ll Follow My Secret Heart,” Space’s version of “Mad Dogs and Englishmen,” and Vic Reeves singing “Don’t Put Your Daughter on the Stage, Mrs. Worthington.” Listening to these songs, one is reminded of Noel Coward’s rather singular wit, a subtle combination of pathos, cynicism, and antipathy toward the snobby British upper-crust of which he was eminently a member.

My hands-down favourite song in the collection is Robbie Williams singing “There are Bad Times Just Around the Corner.” Unfortunately, this is the only video I can find for it, but it’s a decent rendition. And I’ve included the lyrics below, which are exemplary of Coward’s particular brand of humour. Listen, read, and enjoy …



There are Bad Times Just Around the Corner
Noel Coward

They're out of sorts in Sunderland
And terribly cross in Kent,
They're dull in Hull
And the Isle of Mull
Is seething with discontent.
They're nervous in Northumberland
And Devon is down the drain,
They're filled with wrath
On the firth of Forth
And sullen on Salisbury Plain,
In Dublin they're depressed, lads,
Maybe because they're Celts
For Drake is going West, lads,
And so is everyone else.
Hurray-hurray-hurray!
Misery's here to stay.

There are bad times just around the corner,
The horizon's gloomy as can be,
There are Home Fires smoking
From Windermere to Woking
And we're not going to tighten our belts and smile, smile, smile,
With a scowl and a frown
We'll keep our peckers down
When reminded of something that Nelson said.
While the press and the politicians nag nag nag
We'll wait until we drop down dead.

They're nervous in Nigeria
And terribly cross in Crete,
In Bucharest They are so depressed
They're frightened to cross the street,
In Maine the melancholia
Is deeper than tongue can tell,
In Monaco
All the croupiers know
They haven't a hope in Hell.
In far away Australia
Each wallaby's well aware
The world's a total failure
Without any time to spare.
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
Suffering and dismay.

There are bad times just around the corner,
The horizon's gloomy as can be,
There are black birds over
The grayish cliffs of Dover
And the rats are preparing to leave the B.B.C.
We're an unhappy breed
And very bored indeed
When reminded of something that Nelson said.
While the press and the politicians nag nag nag
We'll wait until we drop down dead.

There are bad times just around the corner
And the outlook's absolutely vile,
There are Home Fires smoking From Windermere to Woking
And we're not going to tighten our belts and smile, smile, smile,
At the sound of a shot
We'd just as soon as not
Take a hot water bottle and go to bed,
We're going to unpack our troubles from our old kit bag
And wait until we drop down dead.
Land of Hope and Glory!
Wait until we drop down dead.